


Fuck You One Shots

by StarfruitSpice



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, tags will be at start of each fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 06:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarfruitSpice/pseuds/StarfruitSpice
Summary: A collection of oneshots that i felt were too short to post alone





	1. Heated Cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating; E for everyone  
> Jack wants to cuddle, but its too damn hot for Rhys.  
> tags; Sweat

“Jack!” Rhys huffed softly as he pushed Jack off the bed for the third time. “No!” 

“Awwww, come on, just a little cuddle? It’s cold in here!” Jack grinned before Rhys hit him as hard as he could with a pillow. “Seriously, babe, it’s not like I'm asking alot!”

The sheets stuck to Rhys’s legs as he got out of bed, making him scrunch his nose in disgust. He glared at Jack as he peeled them off his sweat damp skin. Jack was clearly not immune to the heat, since Rhys could smell Jack’s sweat from where he sat on the bed. 

Jack pouted just a bit, clearly trying to do that thing Rhys does. Rhys snorted. Did Jack think a cheap imitation would work on the master?

“It’s not happening. I’m going to take a shower and then i’m going to sleep on the couch with that fan I bought pointed right at me.” Perking up, a sort of lewd smile made its way to Jack’s face. Rhys frowned at him. “Don't even think about it. This is a punishment.”

“Seriously?” Jack scoffed, putting a hand on his chest with a wet slap. “What did I do? I’m just trying to- ugh ok, wow, I am soaked. You’re right, it's too hot for this.” Jack grabbed a bit of the sheets from the bed to dab uselessly at his wet skin. 

Rhys laughed. “If you promise to behave, you can join me in the shower, but i’m not cuddling with you.” 


	2. Response to Nessie's I Love You prompt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a responce to one of nessie's i love you prompt fics.   
> tags; fluff, romance

The shop was bustling with shoppers, but they still kept a wide berth around jack, not wanting to piss the man off. Jack didn't really care since he wasn't there for himself.

“Rhysie? Cupcake?” He called out into the store, his boyfriend nowhere in sight. What had Rhys wanted to look at here anyway? Jack had been sure it was clothes, but Rhys was nowhere to be found. He walked around for a bit more, before deciding to stray a bit. If Rhys needed him they both had their Echos.

Jack took a corner and finally saw him, standing in front of a toy display. A bunch of large stuffed bears, a dark reddish brown fur with grey specks. Jack scoffed. Of course Rhys was gonna be a child.

“Hey kiddo, been looking all over for you.” Jack walked up, and waited for a response, but Rhys kept his eyes intently on the bear, softly stroking the fur on the leg. Jack couldn't tell what he was thinking. “Hey. Do you want that?”

Rhys didn't seem to notice him at first before tearing his eyes away to look at Jack, slightly out of focus. “Hmm? Oh, Jack! Hi.” Rhys was back, Jack could tell from the way he grinned, fingers lingering too long on the bear before Rhys pulled away. He never answered if he wanted the dumb bear.

Jack knew he was going to have to buy Rhys that dumb bear.


	3. Omega Rhys Wants Attention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhys wants attention from jack  
> Tags; Mpreg, Omegaverse, mild daddy kink  
> Rating T for sexual content

“And the new capacitors should help power the new wing to the facility.” Jeremy tapped his stack of papers pointedly. “And bam! Streamlined efficiency for the eridium research project.”

Jack leaned forward, steepling his fingers in thought. “But what about the security? That area is chock full of-” 

The door opening softly drew the room’s attention. Rhys peaked in,face lighting up when he noted Jack. Jack leaned back in his chair as Rhys came prancing in, cute comfortable clothes, only a little stretched by the barely showing baby bump.

“Babe, you're supposed to be at home.” 

“I know, but…” Rhys gave a coy smile before plopping down onto Jack’s lap and rubbing his face carefully under Jacks chin. “I missed you. You're too busy.”

Sighing, Jack rubbed Rhys’s back, and pulled him better into his lap. He motioned for the rest of the room to pay attention. “As I was saying- The area is chock full of bandits. Security is gonna be a real-” Rhys shifted himself to grind down hard on Jack’s dick. Jack bit a growl. “A real bitch.”

So Rhys wanted to play like that. A casual glance down at Rhys’s self satisfied face told Jack that yes, Rhys didn’t just miss Jack’s great personality, good looks, and gratifying scent. Rhys wanted his giant dick. Well, he was going to have to wait, because Jack actually wanted to finish this meeting for once. 

Jack rested his hand high on Rhys’s inner thigh, stroking softly to sate Rhys for the moment. Without breaking eye contact with Jeremy as the man explained the high tech security, Jack huffed through Rhys’s hair, and pressed gentle kisses as Rhys squirmed, trying to get more of an excited reaction from Jack. 

A particularly needy whine escaped from Rhys, clearly upset his scheme isn't working, and Jack was forced to tilt up his head for a proper kiss. A few more pecks to Rhys’s lips and cheeks, and Rhys sighed happily. 

“Just a few more minutes babe, Jeremy’s gotta give Daddy the info so he can approve the project.” Jack pressed one more kiss just below Rhys’s ear, and moved his hand up just a little more. Rhys huffed irritably, and pressed his face into Jack’s neck even more forcefully. 


	4. Lost Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack makes a new friend. its a child who wont leave him alone!  
> Rating G  
> tags; rhys has a kid, rhys is welsh

Jack hated when people touched him. It was always scientists and researchers with their grubby hands, grabbing his coat to try and make him do something their way. Fortunately, once he had taken up the mantle of CEO, he’d put a stop to that quick, with just a few bullets to the face. 

Today though, Jack felt something gently tug at the end of his shirt. Huffing, he looked away from the coffee vending machine in front of him to find a small brown-haired child had latched themselves to him, holding the corner of his white shirt tight. 

“Uhh,” jack murmured. “Heya, kiddo? What’cha doin’? That's my shirt, not yours.” The child looked up at him with wide brown eyes, thumb in its mouth, but said nothing. Jack tried to tug the shirt out of its hands but the kid didn’t seem to understand what he was doing. 

“Ugh, alright fine.” Jack turned back to the machine to complete his order, giving the child one more glance as he grabbed his cup. He quickly ordered a small chocolate milk, hoping to distract the child long enough to escape. It wasn't that he hated kids, but kids didn't exactly give him the ‘scariest man alive’ impression. 

The machine spit out the bottle of chocolate milk, and jack held it out to the kid, who looked up at him, before taking it- with the hand that had been in its mouth. The kid just looked at it for a bit, before giving Jack a big smile.

Jack glared, but turned and tried to walk away. He found it easy enough, but he could feel the child trailing behind him, almost kicking himself when he caught himself slowing down to make it easier for the child to keep up. He thought about taking the kid to the security department, and leaving it there for them to worry about, but that was so much more work that he didn’t want. 

He reached his meeting in time, for once, but one last long look at the child made him question if it was worth skipping out. The kid just looked at him, the cap of the drink in it’s mouth, sucking on that instead of it’s thumb. He smiled, before quickly looking around, to make sure no one had seen the small tender moment. He huffed, before picking the kid up- the child finally letting go of his shirt in favor of grabbing his lapels. 

“You ever talk, kiddo? Maybe i should let you tell off these stupid investors, eh?” Jack smiled at the kid, who looked at him in an odd way, before babbling at him. Jack laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

The department heads seemed shocked by the presence of a child in the meeting room, but if any of them had an issue with it they didn't make it known to jack. Obviously. The child babbled importantly sometimes while drinking his milk, and jack did nothing to stop him. It amused him when he would nod seriously as the child spoke, and the stupid heads would stare with a confused look on their faces. 

Jack was almost disappointed when the meeting was over, but he picked up the child- taking the empty container from him and throwing it at the head of propaganda- and swiftly made his way out to the hub. The child was babbling at him more insistently, tugging at his ear, so he figured the kid was hungry. They headed down to the hub, where Jack bought the child some mac and cheese, chuckling to himself as cheese was smeared all over. 

“Not the cleanest eater are you?” Jack grabbed a napkin and was wiping the kid’s face off when he heard the frantic yell. 

“Bran!” Jack has just enough time to turn and see a man practically slide in front of him and babbling at the child- who babbled back in a surprisingly similar manner. The man looked up at jack, worry furrowing his brow as he apologized softly, before turning back to the child and scolding him in that same babble. 

“He yours?” 

“Ah- yes! I’m so so sorry, sir.” The guy smiled up at him, his tone heavy with an accent jack couldn’t place. “Bran walked away from my friends- who were supposed to be watching him- I don't know how he ended up with you.”

Jack stared for a moment as the guy fussed over the child- Bran. “He just kinda followed me actually. I was gonna take him to security but he seemed kinda hungry.”

The guy laughed. “Bran, did you scam Handsome Jack for lunch?” He pet Bran’s hair. “I guess he must have seen pictures of you and decided you were trustworthy. Not- Not that you're not! I just-” The guy seemed to panic, frantically looking around. Jack noticed the accent seemed thicker the more frightened he got. 

“What’s your name, pumpkin?” He looked the guy up and down, shamelessly. 

“... Rhys.” Rhys looked down, shy as ever. Jack grinned.

“Rhys, huh? Why isn’t Bran’s mom lookin’ after him?” Rhys seemed shocked, before looking away sadly, a somber smile on his face. 

“She, ah, she left shortly after he was born.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Too much work or something.”

“Oh.” Jack felt like a dick. He thought about his own wife, and having to raise angel on his own after she died. Rhys started to collect Bran, and jack reached out, placing his hand gently on Rhys’s wrist. “Wanna scam me for dinner?”


End file.
